Regarding Gratitude


There was this once when I was a kid, I asked my dad how come he got married again after the passing of his first wife. He sat and thought hard and then replied, “I did love my first wife. And I still love her. But after 9 years of being alone, your mum came along, and she brought this new breath of fresh air into my life. And I ended up loving her too.” I was disgusted. “How can you possibly love two women at the same time?” My dad chuckled and said, “Just like how you love your grandmother and mother at the same time. Sukhbir, I love both of them. There’s absolutely nothing wrong in that. Cheating and loving are two different things.” I stared at my dad, baffled. Realising my silence he continued on, “People come and go in your life. You just got to take the good and keep them as memories. The bad, shed them away. My first wife was a good woman, and for that I love her. But she passed on and I had to move on. I was alone for 9 years when finally your mum came along and we fell in love. She gave me a second chance in life, I love her for that too.” He smiled and then said, “You will know someday.” I was just about 10 or 11 and everything he said never made sense. But now, 26 years old, I’ve fallen in and out of love a handful of times, I finally think I’ve got a gist of what he meant. I’ve met women who were good, kind hearted, women who were selfish and self-absorbed, women who cooked well and gave good care, as well as women who never cared and flirted around. As I think about them I realised, in the end, I will always hold that soft spot for them despite everything they did, be it good or bad. Hating someone from your past and having grudges just creates more complications. They came to my life, taught me lessons, made me who I am today, I think atleast, I owe them this much. And the best we can do is just disconnect from them and move on. My dad had no choice but to disconnect, but he always had a soft spot for his first wife even after moving on. And now, being 26, I don’t blame him. He became what he was thanks to her, and he became what he was before he passed on, a wise man, thanks to my mum. That whole soft spot thing, I think it’s there not because he had feelings for her. It was out of gratitude. Immense gratitude. And Gratitude is also a huge part of Love along with Trust, Understanding and so on. Thank you 🙂


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