Do Do Di Di


“I’m going crazy bro..” there was silence in the car. The only thing that could be heard was music coming from the speakers of the car softly. The rain slowly pelted at the window. As each drop hit the window, the rain water explodes and slowly slithers down like a cowardly snake.


“I’m losing my mind.” Bala continued. “I feel like.. I’m working in a prison. Like a kennel. A dog’s kennel.”


I really felt bad for him. I stared silently at him and tried thinking of something to cheer him up. Something to make him feel better.


“Bro, don’t worry. Things will be fine. Life’s like this.  We all go through –” And then I stopped. I had an epiphany.


“What the fuck am I saying? Why do people always say lies about things like ‘things are going to be okay’ or ‘Owh don’t worry you’ll be fine’. Those are fake hopes. Bro, I don’t want to give you fake hopes. I’m tired of giving people who’re going through shit fake hopes because I myself don’t believe in some of the stuff that I say. Tell you what, let’s just go out and grab a nice lunch. I feel like having a nice Banana Leaf meal. What say you?”


“Yeah! Let’s go. Fuck this shit.”


So we got out from the car, had an extremely tasty lunch and we lived happily ever after.


The end.


No we didn’t really lived happily ever after but we had a good time. Went to Jusco and we watched 7aum Arivu. It’s a tamil movie about Bodhidharma and Bodhidharma’s descendent.


See, Bodhidharma was an Indian prince who also happens to be the founder of Kungfu and Chinese traditional medicines back in the time when magic, myth and sex with witches were rampant.


No I’m not shitting you:


Sex with witches:


So yeah the first 15 minutes were awesome because it depicted Bodhidharma’s life and the cinematography (for those of you shit heads who don’t know cinematography and are extremely ignorant about it, click here.) was mind blowing.


Infact even some of the fight scenes were good and there were none of the usual flying around unnecessarily and falling into pots of rice and cars..


Owh wait, there were a few (infact lots) of scenes of people falling onto cars.  I guess it’s a trademark for all Tamil movies. It’s not a Tamil action movie if they did not include scenes of people falling on to cars. 


Nope I’m not being racist. I’m just observant.


However the rest of the movie was a little crappy and extremely draggy. They fused science and history together and came up with a theory of the Chinese trying to fuck up India using bio warfare. I mean come on! Chinese fucking up Indians? Using bio warfare?? I thought the Japanese were the Chinese’s sworn enemies? Indians and Chinese are like brothers! That kinda shit will never happen!


NOTE: 2 months later, I change my mind as I walk into my class late and a couple of Chinese students look at me and make snide remarks about me in Chinese because I don’t understand a word they’re saying. They make fun of my sneakers and hair and they proceed to score better marks in quizzes than me.


Okay maybe most of them are. Aight?


Anyways, so yeah we watched that movie and then we made out in the cinema and he had a baby boy and we named him Randy.


Nah I’m just creative writing here. I’m so bored.


Okay okay, I’ll continue. The movie did have some catchy songs and Shruti Hassan’s a beauty (did I mention she plays guitar and sings awesomely well?). She has a tattoo on her left hip. But her nose is kinda long. And sharp. She can kill someone with it.


After the movie we had a nice cup of coffee at Starbucks and had a nice chat. I then proceeded to propose to him and he agreed. We’re getting married next week.


No! I was just joking. I’m creative writing again. I’m bored as hell.


I enjoy mindfucking people like this. You give them this hope by sounding all serious and shit and then you drop a bomb.


I realised I’m so unpredictable.


Ever had that moment where you wake up, brush your teeth and after a nice shower you look at yourself at the mirror and you go, “Damn, I should marry myself.” <—I’m such an egoistic cunt.


Okay I’m going off topic. 


Anyways the outing was fun. I told Bala to try the automated massage chairs at the arcade. He loved it!


We tried it twice because it was that good.


I’m glad I was able to cheer Bala up. I can’t come up with inspirational, thought provoking, uplifting and powerful words to make people go, “You know what? You’re right! THIS – IS – SPARTA!!” But I’m willing to spend my time and energy just to hear someone out and make sure the person’s okay and even go to the extent of making a fool of myself to cheer someone up.


No this is not a sign that you should message me on Facebook in order for me to hear your problems out because:


a) I don’t have the cash to take you out for a movie or for a massage chair trip


b) I’m just saying nice things and complimenting myself because I deserve it and because it makes me feel good


Haha just kidding. I’ll hear you guys out Smile I’m not that mean.


But I charge by the hour.





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