Coffee Chat


Had a very interesting conversation with a friend today over a cup of warm coffee. We spoke of various things and then the conversation came to judging people. She said she hates judging people, however judging can never be helped. You see someone walking or talking in a different way and immediately in our heads we start judging them. Now, people usually associate "judging" with negativity. However, judging can also apply to positive things as well. Like when you meet someone for the first time, we immediately feel comfortable being around them and we tell others, "Hey, this man’s a really nice person." That’s already judging. She then said, "I feel so bad judging, Sukhbir, that I realised I can’t help it." This was when I realised something very important. Something so crucial that I had forgot such a long time ago. I realised that in that moment, that the concept of being at Peace and being not at Peace, is actually determined by us and ONLY us. We are the Masters of our Fate. In everything we do, when we hear someone telling us that whatever we did is different or weird, we then tend to feel bad and try to change or atleast put a stop to that particular thing we used to enjoy doing. For example, when I got back from India in February, I was still in this state of Bliss and at Peace so much so that I kept talking constantly about my trip to my friends. Yes, they did get annoyed but I was so happy and satisfied. Suddenly, one day, one of my friends decided to "burst the bubble" by saying, "Dude, you’ve changed. Where is the old Sukhbir? The one that’s less spiritual and philosophical?" From that moment, from being at peace and blissed out, I felt very different when I was among my friends. I started to develop consciousness with everything I said or did. I was careful not to mention about the trip at all although most of the time, I wished I could. I even tried pretending to be someone else, someone they could relate to. I was afraid they would be annoyed. From being at Peace and happy, I ended up feeling really agitated and uncomfortable. I started feeling left out and started questioning myself, "Why can’t they atleast try to understand what I felt in India?" The irony was that, at one moment I was really at Peace with everything and suddenly, after that comment made by my friend, my whole concept of "Peace" was shattered all because of one slight comment. So who was at Peace really? And was there really "Peace"? We live in a world where we feel that certain things we do, society wouldn’t like it. And I’m talking about simple things and not things where we breach the law or breach moral values. Simple things like you being you. If you’re someone who enjoys talking and you can’t seem to stop talking to people despite the fact that everyone finds it annoying, the point is, YOU’RE HAPPY. And if you decide to start talking less, society and people, in actual fact wouldn’t really notice and you would just end up being even more sad. I learnt a very important lesson, something that I had learnt a long time ago and I just felt so ashamed of myself as recently I had tried imposing this "rules and regulations" on someone I know. If doing something makes you happy, don’t care what people say, just do it, because you’re happy doing it. Constricting yourself for society’s sake will only make you, not you. However laws of the country and moral values should be considered too as if you breach them, then you’re being selfish. I’m talking about the simple things in life, the way we walk, the way we think, the way we eat. Don’t feel shy or bad. You’re just being yourself 🙂


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