Today I looked at myself carefully in the mirror. My lips no longer parched, dark and burnt due to the excessive smoking. My face, radiant and oil free. Only my hair was a little messy and shaggy but I welcomed the look.
My eyes, they had this glint of joy and bliss. They were wide with anticipation and excitement. No longer are they dull and dark due to the sorrows and anger I had in me.
I had this aura/feel of innocence around me. The very same aura/feel I used to have back in 2006. I am back to my old real self. I assume more drastic positive changes will come about me in these couple of months to come.
I’ve been only smoking one stick a day, practicing vegetarianism, reading and studying the Srimad Bhagavatham diligently and meditating atleast twice in a day now (once in the morning and once before bed).
At nights when I sleep, I imagine that I’m not the body, rather the Soul that pervades this Universe. I try to practice seeing myself in everyone and everything around me. Like a snake trying to shed it’s skin, I’m trying my level best to shed attachment to this body (in some degree ofcourse).
I enjoy the mornings immensely because I wake up at 7 and drive to the Subramaniam temple in Seremban, pay my respects to the Gods and Goddeses there, I then find a quiet spot to meditate. I don’t know how long it lasts but I’m assuming I meditate for about 15 to 20 minutes or so. After that I usually spoil myself by having a good South Indian breakfast from the restaurants nearby. Most of the time consisting of Thosais and Vadais and a cup of hot tea.
There are days when I succumb to the illusion of the world. I worry and feel sad about the passing of my dad. But most of the time I remind myself that Life and Death is an illusion and everything I see, hear, touch and feel is but a dream.
I really want to better myself. Not for anyone else or the world, but for my own inner peace.
Love you all very very much,