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A Self Imposed Punishment

My ex told me once, before we broke up, that I’m one of the few uptight people she had ever met in her life.

And since that day, that was the only thing I’ve had agreed with her. I have tried working on this flaw of mine but no matter how hard I try, nothing seems to work.

I get uptight when I try new things, I get uptight when things get out of order (or unorganised) I get uptight when I go to new unfamiliar places. I get uptight for so many things. I don’t know why, but I blame it on my self confidence.

Over the years, I’ve tried masking this side of mine but most of the time it rears it’s ugly head.

I’ve tried pretending to be happy and jovial when it comes to moments like these but somehow nothing works. I’m not good in pretending that things are fine or things are okay. And even if I do, most of the time, it doesn’t work.

I’m also a very straightforward person. The more of the In Your Face kind of person. If I dislike something, I tell you that I dislike it and why I dislike it.

I hate to lie and pretend to like it.

But most of the time, I get into trouble for being such way. People prefer the butter and ice treatment before you tell them the truth. I find it extremely difficult because most of the time, I have to lie and think of words (or things) to say in order to tell them why I dislike something.

Why can’t we be like kids and just be honest? If a kid hates something, he tells you why and he makes his point clear.

I apologise for being such an uptight ass. With that, I’ve decided to swap places with Navin, with him going to KLCC assisting Abi and with me coming over to LCCT to assist Uncle Guna.

I miss the people at KLIA but somehow I prefer the peace and quiet here (although it’s noisy, but I get to spend alot of time with myself) Tomorrow, I’m planning to finish up Clare Sambrook’s Hide & Seek 🙂

Love,
Sukhu

P/S: Sorry for being an uptight ass.

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