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  • Email: nitrogue@gmail.com
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A Prayer

 

“Okay world. I surrender. I give in to your amazing powers.

 

Now, when I stare at something inanimate, I find beauty in it. I give in because I always wanted something perfect. I forgot, that there’s beauty in flaw and flaw in beauty. All I ever did was chase after perfection after perfection. Forgetting that nothing is ever perfect. 

 

Now, when it rains, it doesn’t matter anymore. Nor does it matter when it shines. I just want to be a witness to both spectacles. Both are equally beautiful. Both are equally mesmerizing. 

 

Death? I always viewed death as something incredible and fearful. It still is. However, my stupid mind always exaggerates death. In the end, I realised, it was not death that I feared, I feared being alone. I feared the darkness that is death. Not knowing what is beyond death. Like staring at the open sea in the middle of the night on a rainy day. That feeling of fear, helplessness when I stare at the sea, hoping to find it’s end but only to find miles of darkness ahead of me, and the sound of the roaring waves, it used to strike fear in my heart. 

 

Death *laughs* You’re a good friend. So is Life. 

 

World, I’m affected no more. Death or life. They’re two sides of a coin. Just like grief and happiness. I just got to accept both as they are and yet not be affected by them.

 

I surrender. Forgive me for being egoistic. I give in to you, World. Embrace me. I’ve come home. I’m not a bad person. Just… a little misunderstood.”

 

And as I said that, I dipped myself into the sea and came out afresh. And as I waded out of the water, I turned and observed at the far horizon beyond. I realised it was dark no more and dawn was fast approaching. For at the end of the horizon, I caught the glimpse of the morning rising sun.

 

I sat by the sea observing the waves. Slowly, as the sun rose, darkness was driven off. I had won. I had won by conquering and defeating nothing, but mySelf.

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